I have always been that socially awkward human; you’ll always find me in the corner of a room during an event or interacting with the ever loyal nature. I get anxiety when I am around a group of people, especially ones that I don’t know; and by knowing I don’t mean names, I mean people I haven’t had interactions with. My instinct always tells me to run. For as long as I can remember, I have always been this way and as a child, I was labeled a shy person (maybe I am, maybe I am not). Since I didn’t understand either why I felt anxious around people, I decided to for with the flow and labeled myself muchacha tímida. I decided to let other people’s perceptions of me define who I am. I have made that mistake many other times in the past but it reaches a point where you feel cornered. People will almost always define you based on their expectations and not based on the real you.
I remember in primary school how teachers would label some students as failures just because they were slow learners and today those ‘failures’ are making money moves.It just goes to show that their is a deep-seated belief that the opinion other people have of us should ultimately define who we are but it doesn’t. I am believer of living life by my own terms and that includes me defining who I am whether people around me agree or not. Whatever idea they have of me is an opinion or as I like to put it, a perception. You see what I allow and whatever perception you have from that, is yours. What you perceive could be true or false depending on the day, situation, the sharpness of your senses, what you are feeling and also the weather.
The greatest lesson I have learnt is knowing that this life belongs to me. I could choose to let other people make decisions for me but we all know that life is short, why make such a grave mistake? I have chosen to define my path; to make choices that I am ready to bear burdens for (good or bad). I have had to fight against perceptions of people about what a 21 year old like me should be doing. It used to be rough at first, especially because I would feel the need to justify my decisions, to explain why I don’t do what almost everyone else is indulging in and then slowly, I cleared my eyes, took a step back and built my spaceship; life has never been this great.